Okay, so I have never been a fan of Dr. Laura Schlessinger (aka Dr. Laura). But, yesterday she made sure that I never will be.
Today she issued an apology and “hopes Jade will call back” so she can give her the help she needs (really?). I hope Dr. Laura gets the help SHE needs and spends some time examining her remarks and beliefs.
Jade, if you’re out there, here’s the answer you were looking for on dealing with friends and family who make racist remarks:
Communication is key. If you never share your feelings, they will never know they are offending you. Begin by believing the best in the person and stating so. “I’m sure you never intended to be hurtful, however…”
Anticipate and rehearse. Take some time and prepare possible responses beforehand. This is good to do with your children too.
DARE – Here’s a great acronym to remember how to handle the situation.
Duplicate the offending statement (repeat verbatim): “When you said…”
Articulate how the statement made you feel: “I felt…”
Request a change in behavior: “I need for you to not make those types of statements in my presence anymore because…”
Explain consequences if the behavior is repeated: “If you continue to make these types of negative statements…”
Follow through! If you say that you will leave if “x” happens again, then follow through and leave the next time. And the next. And the next. If it is a friend, I would limit how many “next times” there will be before letting the friendship end. However, with family, I would prove to be the “bigger” person.
As for your husband, I would continue to keep the lines of communication open with him as well. I’m only guessing that he ignores the situations because he doesn’t know how to handle them either. Maybe the two of you could sit down and discuss some “anticipated responses” together. Don’t let race come between the two of you, let it be something that brings you together!
4 thoughts on “Dr. Laura’s Racist Remarks and My Response to Jade”
Dr. Laura Quits Radio!
“My contract is up for my radio show at the end of the year and I’ve made the decision not to do radio anymore,” she told Larry King. “The reason is I want to regain my First Amendment rights. I want to be able to say what’s on my mind and in my heart and what I think is helpful and useful without somebody getting angry, some special interest group deciding this is the time to silence a voice of dissent and attack affiliates, attack sponsors. I’m sort of done with that.” (via Huffington Post)
So much for her apology…good riddance!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your wonderful insight. I was in my car and was listening to the actual call when it came on the radio. As an African American woman I was shocked at the insensitive way that Dr. Laura spoke with Jade. What was more offensive was that Dr. Laura’s actual point was that the caller should be okay with the N word because blacks use it all of the time. To call her hypersensitive was ridicules and to bring up HBO comics and Obama just made no sense.
Again, thank you for seeing that Jade needed help with communication and not a lecture about Black issues.
Well speaking as a person of color no one should be ok with the use of the N word. secondly maybe if we as people of color ommit this ugly word from our own vocabulary then others would not go around with the mind set that it is ok, or ok to use, or that we should be comfortable with it. we can not continue by using this word word among each other like it is ok to use or it is exceptable and get upset when other races then find it exceptable to say that we should be ok with it if we amongst each other send the message that it is by using this word. if we as afro-americans respect each other more instead of tearing each other down then others will have to respect us as well. we can not disrespect each other with this word (and disrespect each other in other ways as well) and expect others to respect us. it starts with us loving us first then it will spread abroad. so people lets all of us of all races, lets ommit this word from our vocabulary. it is an ugly word