Poem: “Human Family” by Maya Angelou

(there’s nothing like hearing Maya Angelou share her poetry…such a gift!)

Human Family

by Maya Angelou

I note the obvious differences
in the human family.
Some of us are serious,
some thrive on comedy.

Some declare their lives are lived
as true profundity,
and others claim they really live
the real reality.

The variety of our skin tones
can confuse, bemuse, delight,
brown and pink and beige and purple,
tan and blue and white.

I’ve sailed upon the seven seas
and stopped in every land.
I’ve seen the wonders of the world,
not yet one common man.

I know ten thousand women
called Jane and Mary Jane,
I’ve not seen any two
who really were the same.

Mirror twins are different
although their features jibe,
and lovers think quite different thoughts
while lying side by side.

We love and lose in China,
we weep on England’s moors,
and laugh and moan in Guinea,
and thrive on Spanish shores.

We seek success in Finland,
are born and die in Maine.
In minor ways we differ,
in major we’re the same.

I note the obvious differences
between each sort and type,
but we are more alike, my friends
than we are unalike.

We are more alike, my friends,
than we are unalike.

We are more alike, my friends,
than we are unalike.

Artwork: Spirit of Life (multicultural babies)

“Spirit of Life” by Karen Brinkerhoff

One of the biggest blessings in creating iCelebrateDiversity.com has been meeting people who are just as passionate about diversity as me! Meet Karen Brinkerhoff:

Karen is an amazing artist who loves to paint the diversity of mankind. She has painted a beautiful series called “Spirit” that consist of the following titles: Spirit of Life (shown above), Spirit of Woman, Spirit of Prayer, Spirit of Freedom.

My youngest daughter is featured in the Spirit of Life. Can you guess which one is her?

Children’s Book: “The Rabbits’ Wedding” by Garth Williams

The Rabbits’ Wedding

by Garth Williams

The Rabbits’ Wedding is, hands down, my youngest daughters favorite book. It has been as far back as I can remember. It’s a sweet story about two little rabbits, one white and the other black, who fall in love and want to be together forever. The illustrations are darling! Garth Williams is famous for illustrating many books, two of the most notable are Stuart Little and Charlotte’s Web. Here’s a favorite page that always produces laughs:

Interestingly, the book was banned in several places during the 1960’s for fear that it was “brainwashing” children into thinking integration/interracial marriage was good.

Sweet message + darling illustrations = priceless!

BUY IT HERE!

Book: “The Painted Man: What My Son Taught Me About Race”

The Painted Man: What My Son Taught Me About Race

by Desmond Williams

Another great find!

Father in a multiracial family, Desmond Williams, puts pen (pencil) to paper and creates a soon-to-be-published graphic novel The Painted Man: What My Young Son Taught Me About Race. The collection is a “coming of race” memoir that finds a dad confronted by racially charged questions posed directly by his young son and the people with whom they come into contact.

This book can be used as a conversation starter, a self-reflection inducer, or simply a window into an experience that might not reflect your own.

BTW, I found it interesting that Williams is from Brooklyn, NY. I would have thought “they” were much more versed in this thing we call “race”.

More about The Painted Man

Children’s Book: “Mother’s Day” (multiracial)

Mother’s Day

by Anne Rockwell

or see if it’s at your local library!

Happy Mother’s Day!

In my constant endeavor to find books that reflect diversity, I ran across this great book by author Anne Rockwell. I thought the timing couldn’t be more perfect!

Mother’s Day is set in Mrs. Madoff’s class where children (reflecting different cultures and ethnicities) discuss the different ways they will celebrate the holiday, making breakfast, hiking, snuggling, etc. The children were asked to bring in a button for class that they use in making a special tissue paper flower for mom (bonus: instructions are included). I enjoyed many things about the book (illustrations are darling) but I especially liked that a single mother is represented along with a grandmother raising her granddaughter. The children and mothers spent lots of time picking out their button and had little stories about why they chose their particular button. Mom’s didn’t know what the button was for and were surprised that it was to make a flower. Really sweet book! Buy your copy here!

Do you have any books to share?

Poem: “Lisa” by Beverly McLoughland (biracial)

I found the following treasure at a school bookfair eight years ago. It was buried in a book titled “Through Our Eyes: Poems and Pictures About Growing Up“. I probably picked the book because it had “atypical” (not the usual blonde-haired and blue-eyed) girls on the cover. To see this, I knew it was intentional. I was happy to see children of different races and ethnicities represented on the pages. The book is filled with sweet poems, but we have especially enjoyed this one: 

Lisa

by Beverly McLoughland

Lisa’s father is

Black

And her mother is

White,

And her skin is a

Cinnamon

Delight,

Her hair is

Dark

And her eyes are

Light,

And Lisa is

Lisa,

Day and

Night.

And Lisa is

Lisa,

Night and

Day,

Though there are

People

Who sometimes

Say–

Well, is Lisa

That,

Or is Lisa

This? —

Lisa is

Everything

She is.

Lisa is

Lisa,

Day and

Night,

And her skin is a

Cinnamon

Delight,

And Lisa is

Sun

And Lisa is

Star,

And Lisa is

All

The dreams that

Are.

Cultural Cookies

Cultural Cookies provide a unique way to share the message, “we’re more alike than different!”

We have taken the fun of fortune cookies and combined them with proverbs around the world to show that all human beings share similar experiences in life, no matter how different our backgrounds. 

Proverbs in one culture are frequently similar to proverbs expressed in other cultures. For instance, the French “Qui vole un oeuf vole un boeuf” translates to “He who steals eggs steals cattle,” compared to the American proverb “Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile.”

These fun cookies can be used at home to spark discussion, as icebreakers in the office or classroom, an activity during diversity training, or simply on top your desk as a fun way to remind staff or students that people are much more alike than different.

For more information

Daughter 3 – Blakely

One of the best surprises I’ve had in my life…that’s what Blakely is! Born September 8, 2003. I was 35 when I had her and we have truly enjoyed this precious gift. She is FULL of life! She loves to sing, dance, run, play dress-up (the girl changes at least 4 times a day), and she also crushes on the Jonas Brothers (her favorite is Joe). She LOVES all things Princess Tiana! She is definitely a “daddy’s girl” but I like to think that she’s also a “mommy’s girl” too! We have had some unique experiences with Blakely regarding race that I look forward to discussing at some point. She is truly a joy that keeps us on our toes!

(Many have asked if we’re going to “try for a boy”. When Blakely was around 2, we had some serious discussions about adoption, but now that Sydney is getting ready to go to college, we wonder if  we’re prepared to start over. Suffice to say, it’s still a desire that I pray about).

Yes, I'm really just showing off her dress!

Daughter 2 – McKinley

McKinley is our second daughter and another wonderful blessing! Born July 17, 1995. She is also beautiful, both inside and out, and very different than her older sister. McKinley has a very calm nature. I don’t think we ever had “terrible two’s” with her. She was always easy to redirect and is a very responsible teenager. You don’t ever have to “get on to her” about homework or cleaning her room, she studies hard and loves neat and orderly! Now, she does have a downfall…his name would be Nick Jonas. She just may be his #1 fan! For her 13th birthday we bought tickets for the Jonas Brothers concert (yes, for all of the girls, including me). She told me that she knew it was a longshot, but she entered a contest online to win backstage passes. She told me that she’d really been praying about it and wondered if God would do that for her. The notification day came and went. After youth the following night, she came home to check the voicemail because our youth pastor had left a message. As she listened, she began sobbing (and I mean sobbing)…she said you need to listen…”Hello! This is Team Jonas calling to inform you that you are the winner of backstage passes, please call….”! It has been such an awesome testimony for her and I’m SO thankful that God allowed me to see the precious joy of her answered prayer! Need I say, it was the best 13th birthday a girl could have?

Kevin, McKinley, Nick, Sydney, Joe

Daughter 1 – Sydney

I will be sharing many things about my family on this blog. We have been through a lot and with three girls, we have had lots of experiences! This is Sydney, our oldest daughter. Born November 5, 1991. She is beautiful both inside and out. She is very compassionate and loves people! The last three summers she has been a buddy at a special needs camp and plans on being a pediatric occupational therapist. Sydney is also very creative! She loves art and hates cleaning. She is a very genuine person, a friend to others, and always stands for what she believes in. She is truly a blessing!

“Your World, My World” Activity

I have been privileged to do some diversity training with families who have adopted transracially. One activity that I have seen agencies use is called “Your World, My World”. I have seen the activity used with beads that in the shades of people. 

Instructions:

Give each family a clear plastic cup. Assign a race to each color of bead (i.e. caucasian/white, african/african american/black, asian/yellow, middle eastern/native american/biracial/brown, etc.).

Ask parents to place a bead of the respective color in the cup for:

  1. Each family member living in your home
  2. Each sibling that you have and their partner (if applicable)
  3. Each grandparent  
  4. Each immediate neighbor surrounding your home
  5. Your dentist
  6. Your pediatrician
  7. Your attorney
  8. Your spiritual leader
  9. Your mayor
  10. Your three closest friends (they visit your home, you visit their home)
  11. The school principal
  12. Your veterinarian

Look at your cup and get a clear understanding of the world your child will enter. Understand that you have the opportunity and responsibility to surround your child with a diverse array of positive role models.  

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Talking to Children About Race

At what age should you start talking to your children about race?

Birgitte Vittrup of the Children’s Research Lab at the University of Texas tried to answer that question in her 2006 study. A recent article in Newsweek focused on the results of her study — See Baby Discriminate. Kids as young as 6 months judge other based on skin color. What’s a parent to do? [btw, I hated the title of the article–it begged for a small readership].

While the study was extensive, and I didn’t agree with much of it, it showed that the majority of [white] families simply could not bring themselves to discuss race with their 5-7 year olds. “We don’t want to have these conversations with our child. We don’t want to point out skin color.” 

According to Vittrup, hardly any of these white parents had ever talked to their children directly about race. They might have asserted vague principles—like “Everybody’s equal” or “God made all of us” or “Under the skin, we’re all the same”—but they’d almost never called attention to racial differences. They wanted their children to grow up “colorblind”.

The article also mentioned that in homes of people of color, race is discussed much more openly. I can attest to that in our home. I know from a very early age, we have been careful that our children don’t buy what the media sells (i.e. beauty = blond hair + blue eyes + white skin). It is very much apart of our lives on a daily basis. I personally think efforts are misguided if children are raised to be “colorblind”. Color is the very first thing people see and our society and history dictate the inability to be such.  

I’m curious to hear what other families have to say, how do you talk to your children about race? at what age do you begin?

Perfectionist or Procrastinator?

Okay, I admit it. I have failed. I was SO excited about starting this blog and was confident about what it was supposed to be. Since then, I have allowed the fear of judgment, expectation and failure to creep in. Thus, I have done nothing with it!

Let me just start and put it all on the table. I’m a perfectionist. If it’s not perfect, I don’t want to do it. I know, I’m working on it. I’m laying it down. I don’t want to worry about this blog being perfect. My grammar might not be correct; there might even be typo’s (eek)! I don’t want to get bogged down with details. I DO want this blog to be a safe place to encourage and edify each other. I want people to feel free to talk about their experiences, both good and bad. I want us to share our feelings today that may shift and mold into a new perspective tomorrow. Here’s some insight on me…my immediate family is still dysfunctional when it comes to dealing with race and racism. I want this to be a safe place for us to “meet at the table”.  I want this to be a place of reflection for whatever side of the table you sit on. 

Let’s pull up a chair…

Beginning

I’m so excited about starting this blog! It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for a while but I wasn’t sure exactly what approach I wanted to take with it. Well, this weekend I sat on a panel at a transracial adoption workshop and know exactly what I want to do!  I want to create a place where we can share our experiences of having a multiracial family, ask questions, post frustrations, share resources and encourage each other. This is my first blog, so I’m going to have to learn how to navigate the blogosphere, but I’m looking forward to the journey! Will you join me?